KISS make no secret of the fact they’re the most merchandised band on the planet, having licensed their name to over 3000 products! It’s good to be part of the KISS Army.
The items range from the relatively ordinary – trading cards, belt buckles, lunchboxes – to the really out there. Here’s our Top 10 Crazy Pieces Of KISS Merch.
1. mr potato heads
In fairness, who hasn’t wanted their own Mr Potato Head? KISS fans can collect all four – The Starchild, The Demon, The Catman and The Spaceman – who come complete with their iconic make up and instruments. These are quite hard to find nowadays, so if you want a set, expect to shell out some big bucks on eBay.
2. gene simmons cookie jar
Who better to guard your cookies than Gene Simmons and his infamous tongue? This hand painted, hand sculpted ceramic jar would be a great addition to any rock fan’s kitchen.
3. pinball machine
You know you’ve made it when you’ve got your own pinball machine – and KISS have had several! The latest model plays 10 of their biggest hits and features a custom speech from Paul and Gene. The ball even feeds through Gene’s head and comes out of his mouth! Wild.
4. condoms
KISS Kondoms were available in three different varieties: “Studded Paul”, “Love Gun Protection”, and, er, “Tongue Lubricated”. The less said here the better, so moving swiftly on…
5. air guitar strings
Never ones to shy away from a good gag item, KISS sold these air guitar strings at their Las Vegas mini golf attraction. The strings are apparently “made from nothing wrapped around more nothing, with specially tempered nothing-plated high carbon nothing, producing a well balanced tone for your air guitar”.
6. inflatable tongue
Yes, you read that right. Now you can put the finishing touch to your KISS costume with this inflatable tongue. The packaging promises the tongue inflates “to 3 times its original size”, which is impressive to say the least. But will you still be able to sing ‘Rock And Roll All Night’ while wearing it?
7. fragrance and toiletries
If you don’t have your own fragrance, are you even famous nowadays? KISS launched both ‘Kiss Him’ and ‘Kiss Her’ back in 2006. With notes of bergamot, white pepper and sandalwood in the men’s fragrance, and fig leaf, mahogany and leather in the women’s one, it’s definitely a rock n roll scent. If you really dig it, you can also get matching shower gel, deodorant, and aftershave too.
8. board game
KISS have released several board games, from checkers to their own version of Monopoly, but the very first one was this On Tour game from 1978. You follow the band around the star shaped board to their various “tour stops”, answering trivia questions along the way.
9. ice lollies
If you were an Australian KISS fan in the 80’s, you could cool off with a KISS Thunderbolt ice lolly. The lollies featured the individual band members on the wrapper, and were so popular that the brand re-released them in 2013 to celebrate KISS’s 40th anniversary Australian tour. With three different flavours – lemonade, raspberry and cola – we’re a bit sad we can’t ‘Lick It Up’ any longer.
10. coffin
We’ve saved the craziest for last. That’s right, diehard (pun intended) KISS fans can choose to be buried with their idols in a KISS Kasket. Legendary guitarist Dimebag Darrell himself was buried in one, as was his brother Vinnie Paul. The coffin was launched alongside cremation urns, memorial candles, and prayer cards to ensure the KISS army go on rocking well into the afterlife. “I love livin’, but this makes the alternative look pretty damn good,” Gene said at the time of the launch.
